Valentine’s Day Survival Kit For Singles w/ Trish McDermott (Match.com)

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Valentine’s Day can be an uncomfortable reminder to many singles that they are missing out on an important part of life–romantic love. Online dating services often see the most traffic in the period just after January’s New Year’s Resolutions have kicked in and leading up to Valentine’s Day.

I got the chance to speak with Trish McDermott. Trish was apart of the team that launched Match.com back in 1995-basically she created online dating. Today she’s a dating coach at Meetopolis (www.meetopolis.net). Meetopolis is like the Kayak of online dating, allowing singles to see the dating profiles of potential matches from many different sites, all in one place.

Here Trish shares The Valentine’s Day Survival Kit For Singles…

For singles, staking your own claim to a piece of Valentine’s Day is a great way to move past any sadness or awkwardness you may feel. You do this by making February 14th about giving, rather than receiving, love, affection, and attention. Giving makes you feel good. It’s a reminder that with small, kind gestures you can make a difference in someone’s life.

Look around. It’s likely that there are many ways you can give a little love and attention to others on February 14th.

Send your mom flowers.
Bake cookies, or buy chocolates, and bring them to a local nursing home.
Volunteer to help out at your child’s school Valentine’s Day party.
Pass out chocolates at your office.
Put Valentine’s Day cards in your friends’ mailboxes.
Call your father, just to say hello.
Give your bank teller, or bus driver, or someone who provides a service to you a gift card from your local coffee shop.
Volunteer at a soup kitchen and help feed people hungry for so much more than romance this Valentine’s Day.
Post a fun, appreciative or inspirational message to your friends and family who follow you on Facebook.
Call someone you know is struggling and invite them over for a home-cooked meal.

If you approach Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to give a little love to your community, friends, family, and even total strangers, you won’t need to focus on the fact that you are without a significant other over the holiday.

It’s also good to understand the numbers because when we struggle without dating lives, especially around Valentine’s Day, it sometimes feels like we’re the only person not getting dating and romance right.

It can be almost impossible to avoid the barrage of Valentine’s season media reminders that while you are dateless, so many others have deeply loving romantic relationships. There are 98 million single adults in the US. If you’re dateless on Valentine’s Day, you’re in some very good company. You are not a romantic anomaly.

Much of the coveted romantic moments we are bombarded with in February, like the look of adoration in her eyes as she opens the diamond necklace he so lovingly hands her, are really just media-manufactured images of romantic love. These might seem unattainable for some, even for those who do have a romantic relationship but never get that adoring look. It’s important to remember that these images exist to sell products.

Real love happens in life’s trenches, the day-to-day moments in the lives of ordinary people, and single people experience it too. Kids don’t see Valentine’s Day as a holiday that excludes them because they don’t have romantic love in their lives. For them Valentine’s Day is about acknowledging friendships by exchanging cards or candy. They’re thrilled and excited and don’t use the holiday to beat up on themselves for lack of true love. We should follow their lead.

I’ve watched millions and millions of singles search for love. This search can often be a long, tough, discouraging experience. Finding romantic love is often a process of failing one’s way to success. The trick is to stay in the game, even after an awkward, discouraging or disappointing experience. When it comes to finding love, you have to be in it win it. A good way to be in it on February 14th is to stop looking for love and to start giving some love away.

Have fun on Valentine’s Day. Play. Laugh. Feel good. Spend the evening with dear friends, Play with babies. Help out some elderly people in your town. Have dinner with your family. Then, on February 15, ask someone out, put your profile on a dating site, take a risk and swipe right on someone.

And buy your chocolates on the 15th too – they’re half price!

Is Pride Hindering Your Success?

Is pride the wall standing between your now and your next?

Many people are waiting in line for the blessings God has promised them. Many have been in line a long time and are frustrated, not understanding that they’re failure to release the spirit of pride is keeping them from possessing the promise.

Here are three things to consider:

#1 God resists the proud and gives grace to the humble.

Your failure to obey God is prolonging your elevation.

#2 True humility isn’t shrinking yourself – true humility is submitting yourself to the King of Kings.

Your failure to live in your authentic life so that others won’t feel slighted is FALSE humility.

#3 Your blessing is closer than you think!

Once you break down the walls of pride you will create the entrance to your next level. Your blessing is literally one decision away.

Watch the video for more and don’t forget to subscribe.

February 12, 2019February 12, 2019

Elle Clarke1 Comment

I AM QUEEN Magazine Recognizes 15 Extraordinary Women

This month I AM QUEEN Magazine is celebrating Everyday Extraordinary Women. These women were nominated by their peers for their tremendous persistence in the pursuit of destiny. We understand that many times those behind the scenes are nameless because they don’t bear the name ‘celebrity’. So this month we salute the women who continue to fight for their dreams despite the obstacles. To those who continue to inspire others while they themselves are ‘going through’. These are the women who pray and cheer for you without recognition and this month we want to cheer them on!!!

I have made a choice to overcome my issues instead of letting them overcome me. Robin King

Erica Bailey is an extraordinary woman and she deserves to be on this list. Robin King

I am an everyday extraordinary woman because I have defied the odds. I was born with a rare genetic syndrome called Pfeiffer syndrome, a condition the causes your bones to not properly fuse together. I was born with my skull practically crushing my brain. I have had over 30-35 operations since I was born. This condition has also caused me to be visually and hearing impaired, as well as have some facial differences. My mother was addicted to crack and my dad was an alcoholic. I was left to take care of my sister. I have been homeless, bounced from one place to another. Until I was finally placed in the system at the age of 12 where My sister and I would remain for 5 years. The bar was not raised very high for me in terms of success but I must say I have surpassed the bar set for me. Doctors said would not live past 35 – I will be 40 years old next month. I have a Bachelors and Masters degree. I am an eight-time published author as well as a disability Empowerment Coach and radio personality. The name of my show is Dreaming Beyond Your Disability. Latrea Wyche

I’ve overcome so much and just come from a mighty long way! Sasha L. Lightbourne

I am nominating my mother Vernessa Blackwell. She is the CEO of Life U Imagined Broadcasting Network. She is a military veteran and served for 24 yrs. She owns two businesses Life U Imagined Broadcasting Network and The Grief Helpline. She is a single mom, she raised me and my sister alone. My mom is a phenomenal woman. Takia Smith

I am an everyday extraordinary woman because after being in an abusive relationship, having my son taken from me, depression for 10 yrs, moved back home after 24 yrs I have finally found my way back to health & balance. Thanks be to God, and a positive change in my mindset I have been renewed and my superpowers are back in full effect. I want to inspire women young and old that it’s never too late to start loving yourself again after life’s ups and downs. LaTamra Smith

With the help of God, I am resilient. Life has thrown many punches but I continue to get up daily. I’m an overcomer of many challenges and now I’m helping women do the same thing. It’s my mission to help women break free from their past so they can have a better future. I know it’s possible because God’s helped me do just that! Natalie Louis

I would say I am an Extraordinary Woman because I was a mom at the tender age of 16. I’d go on to have 5 kids by 25, yet go to school, open a business, help my kids achieve great things, then step out on Faith believing GOD had greater, and that’s what I’m living now. Lasonya Taylor

I am an everyday extraordinary woman because I know and understand my power to create a positive transformation in every area of my life. Keeping God first, consistency, push through and vision are a few key elements in creating an extraordinary life. I am not superwoman, nor do I aspire to be. I cry, I get frustrated and there are times when I feel like giving up, but in those moments I remember who I am in God, and that I can do all things through Christ and I continue on. Win, lose, rise, fall and rise again, an extraordinary woman is going to keep going and build her sisters and family in the process. Chamar Logan

I am a 39-year-old mother of two amazing daughters. I am a wife to a king, a full-time Manager at Nassau Airport Development Company, Manager of the Year 2013. I am a recent graduate of a degree in Business Management, Valedictorian (at age 38) and I work out 4 times a week. Certified Parking Professional, National Parking Association. I am an avid runner and just completed the Bahamas Half Marathon(13.1) 14 out of 28. I am a parent assistant for the Dynamos Football Club where both my girls play soccer. I am also the Medic for the U18 girl’s soccer team. I don’t think any of these things are extraordinary I do them because I am first and foremost an example to my girls, it is my responsibility to be their role model. On my job, I do nothing extraordinary, other than do the job I love and go beyond what is expected to get the desired results. My health is important to me, so exercising 4 times a week teaches me, even at my age, further discipline, commitment, and dedication to getting results. Running is therapeutic, and it helps to clear my mind and show my girls the body does what the mind tells it to do. I don’t think of any of these things as extra, I do it because God has given me talent and ability, and I have no choice. Every day it’s not easy, up at 5:30am, on gyms days 3:30am, school drop off, I want to kiss my girl’s goodbye each day, then off to a 10-hour job I love. I then pick them up and off to soccer practice we go. I never miss a game, it is important to me that they hear me cheering for them at everything they do. Once we get home, dinner and homework, then off to bed for them. Then my husband must get some quality time, and whatever is left, I study for the next level of certification I am accomplishing at that moment, and then the house takes its rest – and we do it all over again the next day. My girls are my life, being their role model is all the thanks I need. So it is an honor to be considered an everyday extraordinary woman, but then again aren’t we all everyday extraordinary women? Nicole Henfield

I have survived, abuse, rape, homelessness. And because I am the daughter of I Am, I’m still standing! Pinkie Davis

I am “Heart”. I have a Love and Passion for Helping People. Teja T. Campbell

I am an Everyday Extraordinary Women because in spite of my diagnosis of HIV I refused to give up and die. I refuse to have a pity party instead I applied the Word of God and believed God for my healing. Everyday I use my testimony to encourage and empower women not to let their diagnosis affect their faith. I refuse to let my sisters, to allow the enemy to make them focus on their diagnosis instead of our mighty God. Jacqueline Goodwin

I am the founder of a non-profit organization called Love Shouldn’t Hurt NY, Inc which was birthed after surviving and cheating death from 2 consecutive relationships. I have dedicated my life to educating and empowering those who need to know that they can survive and be a powerful force to be reckoned with. Letting them know that their past does not define their future, through creative workshops, conferences and so much more. I AM EXTRAORDINARY!

I am the only child my Mother has on this earth. I was 36 years old when my Mother passed away. My Mother had a Stroke when my Daughter was 2 1/2 years old! Then when my Daughter was 11 years old my Mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer. I took care of my Mother and Daughter. I am still standing- I wanted to give up. God and my Spiritual Mother wouldn’t allow it. Now I am 52 Years old still pushing daily and encouraging women! I’m living from house to house and people outside of my life have no idea. I am a Queen! I keep shining and do not give up on life! Kari Wilson

These women are nothing short of amazing! We want you to help us crown one of these women as The Everyday Extraordinary Woman for the month of January 2019. Here’s how it works:

Go to our Instagram page
Like @iamqueenmagazine
Like the picture of your favorite EEW
Leave a comment

It’s that simple! The winner will receive a 2-page spread in I AM QUEEN Magazine’s printed issue, which releases October 2019, and a FREE copy.

February 8, 2019February 12, 2019

Elle ClarkeLeave a comment

Should Christians Use Birth Control???

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Listen, Queen, after four children my husband and I decided that we are officially done. I got my tubes tied and honestly, it was the worst thing I ever did! I thought we were being responsible, but it turned out bad for me.

What happened???

I’m having hot flashes!!!! That’s what happened. At first, I didn’t realize what was happening. My husband said I was extra spicy and I was hot when no one else was. I was so heated one night I stripped down to nothing opened a window with the AC on and I was crying because I was experiencing hell on earth.

My husband said…’you going through menopause, eh?’ I think that’s the worst thing you could tell a Caribbean woman. I was so mad at him! How could a 33-year-old woman be experiencing menopause-it couldn’t be right? But night after night I was hot and heated and I couldn’t understand what was going on.

One day my husband and I were watching an interview with Tamela and David Mann on the Breakfast Club. Mr. Mann started talking about how Tamela acts when the ‘hot flashes’ kick in and it sounded just like what I was going through.

I cried because I couldn’t understand how or why. I prayed and the Holy Spirit revealed to me that tying my tubes had effects that couldn’t be seen but I was now experiencing the reaction from my actions.

God opens and closes wombs, I should have enough faith to believe that God knows what’s best for me. He knows how many children I can bear. He knows what I can take better than I.

Before I got my tubes tied my husband and I would have sex and nothing would happen, in fact, I got pregnant with my third daughter on birth control. So I do believe that God is able to open and close our wombs especially if we are submitting our lives to him.

Now, I have never been on the pill, I have taken the depo shot but that would be in my system months after its expiration. After I found out that the depo takes away our calcium I stopped taking it because I can’t afford the calcium.

So, what’s a woman to do?

If you aren’t married-just stop having sex. If you are married you are under a godly covenant and I would make my petitions known to Christ but I would end the prayer with not my will but your will be done.

God didn’t give us the spirit of fear but of love power and a sound mind. The fact that I was fearful to conceive again tells me that I wasn’t operating in his spirit.

I think we forget that he is concerned about everything that concerns us. We are so caught up on what we see, that we forget that what we see is temporal and has the ability to change.

After Rachel had her two destined sons she died.

After Leah, had her seven children her womb was shut up.

After Sarah, had Issac she conceived no more.

Our lives produce based on purpose. After you have conceived your purpose then no more children will surface.

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Should Christians use birth control? In my opinion- let Jesus be a birth control pill.

January 29, 2019January 29, 2019

Elle Clarke2 Comments

3 Reasons You Should NOT Have An Abortion

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I remember an old friend of mine telling me that she was pregnant. Amazing news right – wrong, well at least not for her at the time. She was married and already had a few kids and a one-year-old. Her heart was set on having an abortion and she wanted to know my thoughts on the matter. I told her-HELL NO!

She then told me that I didn’t understand. She just had a baby and it was too soon. She asked me what if I got pregnant back to back would I still have the baby and I said yes. At the time I too had just given birth to my second daughter. Anyway, to cut a long story short she had the abortion and I did get pregnant again; literally 12 months after the birth of my second daughter. Here I was, in the same shoe, she found herself a year ago.

So what did I do…..

This would have been my third child and it happened soon after my second and I was excited!!!!!! I had my baby!

I’ve had abortions before- yes I did. I didn’t want to bring the babies into a world where their mother wasn’t ready for them. Every reason that was ever created to justify abortion is all selfish. I thought after they were gone, I would feel better but I didn’t. The guilt of the abortion nearly killed me and it took a very long time for me to forgive myself.

I never wanted children. When my first daughter was born I was happy but I vowed that I wouldn’t have any more kids because I grew up with many siblings and I didn’t really like the life my parents had – I didn’t want to be like them. But here I am four kids later and loving it.

So what changed?

After I gave my life to God for real for real, he showed me the other side of parenting. Through my relationship with God I realized that I could be a good parent and that just because my parents weren’t what I wanted, they were what I needed.

It took a lot of prayers and deliverance sessions for me to completely be free from the guilt and resentment I had for myself because of what I had done and I promised God that I would never do it again and I haven’t and I won’t.

Here are three reasons why you shouldn’t have an abortion:

1. Children Unlock Gifts Within You.

After the birth of my second daughter, there was a strong desire to sew that came upon me. I always wanted to be a clothing designer but I couldn’t sew. One day I remembered that my grandmother had a sewing machine that she didn’t use. I bought it from her and the rest is history. I never took one sewing lesson or used a sewing machine but it was like I was doing it all my life. I started a business creating baby headbands that developed into creating clothing for my daughters, myself and others.

2. Having an abortion locks you into a covenant with Molech.

It’s a human sacrifice. You are sacrificing your baby for your career, your reputation, your relationships; but you are clueless to the fact that the act itself brings you into covenant with a demon. Molech was the Canaanite god associated with child sacrifice. Child sacrifice is the ritualistic killing of children in order to please or appease a god or supernatural beings in order to achieve a desired result. Don’t do it sis!

3. Children Come With Their Own Supply.

Many people use the lack of finances as a reason why abortion is a great choice-they don’t want the child to suffer. Ironic, because they do suffer death at the hand of their own mother! After my second daughter, God showed me all the reasons why abortion was a terrible idea. She lacked nothing! I can remember being on the delivery table and getting a $2,500.00 deposit just for her. I got a surprise baby shower from strangers. Our medical bills were all paid in FULL and none of this happened because of my husband and I alone it was ALL GOD!!!!!!

God showed me that he cared about my concerns and that if we would only trust him to do what he says, we would see that even in our mistakes, he’s able to make it all work together for good.

Now I’m not a fool and I understand that there may be times when an abortion may absolutely be necessary due to medical reasons. I understand. But I’m speaking to those of you concerned about the money, or being a single parent, or your career- please understand that God has considered all of that and he still has a plan for you. His plan for you is a prosperous one but you have to commit your situation to him.

We all face different things in life but I just want you to know that you are not alone.

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If you would like to book a complimentary coaching call with me go here.

January 28, 2019January 29, 2019

Elle Clarke3 Comments

Bahamian Dancer Lenelle Michelle reminds us of God’s love through Dance

As a creative, I have been dealing with cycles of depression usually at the beginning of the year and around my birthday in summer. These are the times when we reflect on our progression through life. At the end of 2018, I decided to take measures to end the cycle and get the help I needed in order to prevent my mind & emotions from spiraling down that path again. During that time, God revealed that I need to stop looking to the left and right and Look Up. He reminded me to shift my focus from circumstances and back to him. To get back to the place of being consumed by him.

The result: A broken cycle and a restored passion and zeal for living life purposefully.

This video is for those who are stuck in unhealthy cycles, remember to Look Up. Know that God is with you and He loves you deeply. He will bring you through.

Song: Look Up by Lauren Daigle
Videographer: Stermon Rolle

January 25, 2019January 25, 2019

Elle ClarkeLeave a comment

New York Says Yes To Abortion: Grace Says Abortion- NO!!!

On January 23rd the state of New York extended its Reproductive Health Act by making it legal to perform abortions after 24 weeks. Under the new law, abortions after that point are permitted if the pregnant person’s life or health are threatened, or if the fetus is not viable.

It’s law but does it make it right?

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You shall not give any of your children to offer them to Molech, and so profane the name of your God: I am the Lord – Leviticus 18:21

Molech was Canaanite god associated with child sacrifice. Now you may say that women aren’t making child sacrifices, but aren’t they? They’re having abortions to save their careers, their reputations, because they aren’t financially able, so on and so on. Sounds like child sacrifice to me!

Tiphani Montgomery did an amazing live video on this subject that summed up my feelings and beliefs on the matter of abortion.

January 25, 2019January 29, 2019

Elle ClarkeLeave a comment