So I posted this photo on our Instagram and the conversation exploded. There were many different views, but I want to dive a little deeper into why I think women should not propose to men. My views have nothing to do with whether it is right or wrong but rather a question of whether you want to build a relationship on a foundation where the woman takes the lead.
Firstly, I believe that during courtship both parties should discuss their intentions, values, goals, their position on marriage and children among other things at the beginning of a relationship. In that way, both parties are fully aware of how the other feels so that there are no false expectations.
Adam didn’t know what he wanted until he saw it. When he saw Eve he knew that she was the one for him. One may say there was no other woman around, true, but Adam never asked for a wife. However, when he saw her he knew that she was it. A man knows almost from the beginning whether he wants to marry you or not.
Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”
– Genesis 2: 22-23
Here we witness the first marriage that was orchestrated by God but initiated by The Man. Orchestrate means to direct the elements of (a situation) to produce the desired effect. The Woman had no hand in the decision of marriage. Eve merely submitted to the process and trusted that God knew best. We know this to be true because Eve was very inquisitive. It was her desire for knowledge that seduced her into eating the forbidden fruit. But this same Eve chose to marry the man God ordained for her without complaint or question.
The strength of any house lies in its foundation. The purpose of the foundation is to hold the structure and it must be built in such a way to keep the ground’s moisture from seeping in and weakening the structure. The way you build your relationships will determine the future or lack thereof. A man was designed to lead and take charge and if he doesn’t propose to you he isn’t ready yet. Before God gave Adam a wife he was trained in leadership so when he saw what he wanted it wasn’t difficult for him to assume the role as a husband.
Many marriages end in divorce because of financial difficulty. After Adam and Eve were driven out of their place of prosperity it was Adam’s foundation that helped him to recreate a life for him and his family. While Adam did not create the world it was his organizational skills that helped to bring kingdoms together. Adam was the beacon that brought the kingdoms of life and spirit together. If the foundation of your relationship isn’t strong before marriage when the cares of life come they will weaken and destroy it.
Women are born ready for marriage but men must be prepared. When Eve was created there is no evidence that she spent time with God as Adam did. Adam was created then given his responsibilities and profession and then a home. Only after he was prepared did God give him a wife.
Woman – WAIT!
Even if you’re ready that doesn’t mean he is. You want to wait until he’s matured enough to love you the way a wife needs not a girlfriend. Contrary to popular belief marriage is more than a piece of paper. Its the joining of two souls. It’s a spiritual union that connects beyond the flesh. You both become one. If you aren’t equally yoked (same values, etc) you will destroy not only your marriage but yourselves. Wait on God to direct your husband to you. You won’t have to convince him of your worth. You won’t have to give him hints that you are ready for marriage because if he was designed for you-you can rest assured that he will marry you. Adam didn’t know that he needed a wife but when he saw it he knew that she was the one. Many women don’t have a problem finding a man they have a problem waiting on one. Wait I say on the Lord!